Welcome to another Six Sentence Sunday! Thanks to everybody who stopped by last week. As I mentioned in a comment last week, I find writing kisses and love scenes a little difficult, so I'm always nervous about how they sound until I can get another reader's opinion. And this one's changed since my CP last saw it. So all your comments made my day. :)
I've decided to keep with the scene for this week and probably next week as well, if anybody would like to read more. For the sake of the snippet, I think I skipped a sentence or two.
And of course, don't forget to stop the Six Sunday website and read all the other fabulous snippets! Only thing I hate about SSS is my TBR pile has tipped over! lol See you next week!A soft moan escaped her, her mouth opening beneath his. She lifted onto her toes to deepen the contact.A deep guttural groan rumbled out of him and he pulled his mouth from hers. His gaze hot and intense, he released her, only to grab her hand and tug her behind him as he opened the back door and moved into the house. Some part of her brain screamed at her to stop this now, but Becca couldn’t find the words. Or the need to say them.
I say just go with it. Nice six! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI think you're doing a great job, Joanne. Love that last line!
ReplyDeleteI think that's was why I decided to skip around, because I liked that last line as well. Thanks, Kate!
ReplyDeleteI think you did a very good job!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lisa!
ReplyDeleteThat last line? Whew! I can totally relate! Great six. =)
ReplyDeleteI know i wrote it, but...me too! lol Thanks, Delena!
ReplyDeleteDon't think, do. That's my take on the last line. Great six!
ReplyDeleteChick, seriously!? You're insecure about your kissing/love scenes? REALLY? I'm here to tell you, you rock at it. I'm jealous as hell. Great six. Totally fabbo.
ReplyDeleteGem--hehe. I remember thinking something similar when I wrote it. "Stop thinking, Becca!" lol Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteKE--*blush* thanks. I appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteI hope she doesn't listen to her brain this time. Sounds like things are about to get exciting. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat and last week's adds up to some mighty fine kissing authorship to me! Excellent job...now where is he taking her? Heh-heh. Think I know, though your snippet is tagged "southern gentleman" so...
ReplyDeleteAny possibility that you could add some "share" buttons to your posts in blogger? Hugs. K :)))
ReplyDeleteRanae--you'd be right. ;)
ReplyDeleteLila--Jackson is only a gentleman when it suits him. He's not taking her very far. ;) Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteKE: I'll have to figure out how, but I'll get right on it. :)
ReplyDeleteokay, think I added a share button. If I did it right. lol
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say anything either ;) Great 6!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angela!
ReplyDelete*fans face* I have to agree, this is some hot writing! Now...to stick my nose in. (Feel free to chop it off - lol)
ReplyDeleteIn this sentence:
A deep guttural groan rumbled out of him and he pulled his mouth from hers.
I would delete "from hers." Instead, he simply "pulled his mouth away." You have lots of he and her, him and hers in this six.
The other thing, and this is probably just me, but I'm "visual" in that I imagine the action as I read. In this section:
...only to grab her hand and tug her behind him as he opened the back door...
I had the sense he was putting her behind him as if to protect her form something (maybe himself - lol) But then I realized that he was leading her into his house. Perhaps if you added something like:
...only to grab her hand and tug her along behind him as he opened the back door...
Again, just some ideas. Feel free to ignore me completely! You've got some great emotion and sexual tension gong in this sense without my meddling. Good job!
Actually, I appreciate that, Silver, thanks! Great pointers!
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you're worried, JM. This is a hot clip! Loved it and last week too.
ReplyDeleteYou have nothing to be nervous about. This was really, really good.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Calisa!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jess!
ReplyDeleteFantastic. You have totally nailed this! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteVery nice six. I like the visual of her tip-toeing, as well as the guttural sound from him! Very vivid!
ReplyDeleteAmy Durham
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ReplyDeleteWow Joanne! What book is this from, a wip? The teasers are brill and I think you are great at writing kisses and sexy!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your congrats on my sale xx
Thanks, Amy!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Aimee! Yes, it's a WIP. It's the sequel to the first book I had published, Staking His Claim. My editor's currently got it. I'm still waiting on a decision.
ReplyDeleteMy fingers are crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks!!
ReplyDeleteLove your six! Sizzling! :) Their move into the house heightened the moment.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, thanks for sharing such a steamy scene. Nice work. And LOL about your TRB pile. I know what you mean!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm glad she went with him! Sounds like a fun time ahead. :)
ReplyDeletethanks, Joya! I swear I have so many books I want. To read. Too many books not enough me. Lol
ReplyDeleteDianne--she may not want to admit it yet, but so is she. ;) thanks for the comment.
ReplyDeleteLove that last line! Great six!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have any reason to worry. This is a great kiss scene!
ReplyDelete