Sunday, July 1, 2012

Six Sentence Sunday

Welcome to another Six Sentence Sunday! I almost forgot to sign up this week! I couldn't decide what to post, so I had to take time to think about it and plum forgot. 

I ended up deciding on something from the new WIP I started. The working title for this one is Blind Date. I know, original, right? Guess what the premise is! ;) It's the sequel to my soon-to-be-released book, The Playboy's Baby. I was going to post the opening, then I remembered my furry secondary character. This guy introduced himself almost immediately. He was one of the first characters that came to me. His name is Bruce. Well, okay, he originally came with a different name. But I had to change it, because I realized I'd used the name in a previous book. 

Anyhoo, he introduced himself to me by showing me this. I had to clamor to get it all down. I'm still not sure if it properly conveys the tension of the moment.
Heart pounding, Elizabeth Anderson took off at a dead run. Some fifty feet in front of her, her golden retriever, Bruce, flew toward the river’s edge. Body hunkered to the ground, his ears flopped in the breeze. He raced up the boat dock and leapt off, paddling after a little girl who’d just fallen off the edge. She’d disappeared from view beyond the edge of the dock, but her terrified cries rent the air. All around her, people stopped what they were doing and turned to stare.
The little girl, is of course, the hero's daughter. I haven't decided if the hero and heroine should meet this way...or if I should start the book with the blind date they've been fixed up on. Either way, I'm determined this scene has to end up in the book somewhere.

Thanks for stopping by to read! Don't forget to see all the other fabulous snippets at the SSS website! You know, when this is gone, I'm really going to miss reading everybody sixes!


19 comments:

  1. Bruce sounds like an awesome dog!

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  2. Well, you're already making my heart melt with Bruce racing to rescue the little girl. Love Goldens and I can't wait to see your heroine and hero meet. Kids and dogs are great bonding material. :) Sounds like a winner!

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  3. Aw, I loved your descriptions of his movements. They really evoked the scene well. And of course, him being a hero doesn't hurt. Good six!

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  4. I love this scene--I'm with you, a real MUST keeper for the book. It might add a bit more tension if you put more in the moment action in it and less narrative of what "had" just happened. Is her heart pounding b/c the dog ran off, or did she actually see the little girl go off the pier? If the latter, then it might heighten the tension to have that happen first, then her heart pounding, then her dog taking off, then another visceral reaction to that, then her running after him? In any case, this is an awesome scene. Great six (as usual!!) =D

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  5. This is really wonderful, nice job. Bruuuce :)

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  6. Mae--I love dogs in books! this one kind of took over and showed me who he was! Thanks for the comment!

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  7. Thanks, Linda! I have to admit I tried to take some of the description of his movements from watching my lab run. :)

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  8. KE--excellent suggestions I will be taking. Thank you!

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  9. Joanne, K.E. had some good advice about ramping up the tension in this scene, not that's it's not pretty tense as is! And personally? I'd open the book with this scene. There's all sorts of directions you can go with the blind date scene that way. Great six and I look forward to more of this story.

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  10. Wow, a very intense six! Go Bruce!

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  11. Thanks, Silver! I am definitely leaning towards leaning opening with this. And thanks to K.E.'s suggestions, I've expanded this to four pages this morning. lol

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  12. I love Bruce! He's a hero! Those flapping ears are a great detail.

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  13. Lots of tension here! I have lots of questions, first of all, does Bruce save the girl? Great six!

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  14. Yes! This scene HAS to be in the book! I love it.

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  15. Certainly got my heart racing!

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  16. Great tension achieved. I love when pets play a real part in a story. Sounds like Bruce does just that. :)

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